Media Career? Think Different
Considering the glut of qualified graduates queuing up for a job in the media, is it any wonder people are getting used? Reading this makes me think that my less conventional approach to breaking into the film and TV industry may actually be the better bet.
‘Exploitation is more widespread than ever’ Media Guardian, 11th April, 2005
For those of you who are unsure exactly what my method is, here’s the lowdown:
- Move as far away from the place you want to work as possible. The other side of the world is a good starting point. If you want a job in London, try moving to the west coast of America.
- Get a job in an industry as far removed from the media as possible. Try food service, in particular, coffee shops. Girls flock to coffee shops.
- Take up writing. Doesn’t matter if you’re any good at it or not. Girls always swoon when they hear the line "I’m a writer," delivered with an English accent; especially stupid ones with lots of money. Target them mercilessly.
- Move in with rich, stupid girl. Live off her like a parasite. Get drunk as often as possible and claim you’re "networking."
- When your rich, stupid girlfriend finally discovers you’re a fraud, break down and cry shamelessly in front of her. Tell her you love her, but you have writer’s block and/or homesickness. This should buy you a couple of weeks to find a second stupid rich girl. Make sure the first one doesn’t dump your stuff out in the street in the meantime.
That’s my method so far. Due to lack of data, I cannot promise it will deliver the desired results, but I feel my big break is just around the corner. It’s a lot more fun than working eighty hours a week for a pittance in London, and I appear to have come just as far by doing so. Here’s to being a Deadbeattm!
Let’s network! Thursday is payday for me.
Cheers…
Yeah, I saw that yesterday. The bulk of the complaints seem to have come from people working for indys on reality based TV. The really amazing part is that the little masochists actually lap it up and honestly beleive that they’ll break in. So many people burn out before they get anywhere near decent paid work. Perhaps if we were all more content to just push a broom this wouldn’t happen… Hats off to you Lig, I think your approach is inspired. Just one question, won’t Courtney object to points 4 and 5?
BTW, I see you beat Man Utd 2-0 on Saturday. Nice.
“Stupid” and “Rich” are so far wide of the mark when it comes to describing Courtney that I figure anyone who knows us will know I’m being ridiculous. And anyone who doesn’t know me will, er, think I’m a manipulative heartless bastard. Which of course gives me perfect qualifications for working in reality TV.
And yes, we beat the “Red Devils” – or is it “Faces?” And Ipswich lost to Wolves. It was a good weekend football-wise. I almost blogged about it.
Alternative Step #5: You can get her pregnant, like the Chapelle Show skit where Dave Chappelle purposely impregnates Oprah.
Doh! I actually meant that surely she’d object to you going off and finding someone who matched that description…
interesting article…it’s not unlike what goes on in the music business it seems. The former guitarist from Dodgy played at the Marrs Bar with his new band and he said that at the time, when they were touring playing big festivals, etc, the roadies used to get paid more than the band members! The price of fame…
Doh! And even that was meant to be a joke along similar humorous lines to your blog. Oh forget it…
Nah, it’s not you James. I did get a couple of concerned emails asking me if there was anything I wanted to talk about. And seeing as Courtney’s family occasionally look at the blog, and a few members of my own too, I started worrying about how my comments could be construed. Imagine Courtney’s gran stumbling across this.
In future all posts will be inoffensive to septugenarians of all nationalities. Lots of posts about mint humbugs and bingo should do it.
Haha! Looks like you’re coming across the same concerns as I had when I realised my folks read my blog. I can’t come across as being too debauched, offensive, depressed etc… even though I’m not actually any of these things in any real quantity!